Back to Square One
by Devious Writer
Summary: It should have solved everything. She defeated Sunset Shimmer. She triumphed over Equestria! She knew all that could be known. It was so right. So why did she feel so wrong? Why was she still the little anomaly that was being burned to nothing, when she had all this knowledge? This power? Why did she feel like a powerless fool? Written in 2h. Also on FiMFic.


Knowledge was power. That's what she used to tell herself. But she never really _understood_. Never understood the extent to that power. The control she could seize. It was intoxicating, thrilling, and perhaps scary, even to a mind like hers.

But it was so _right_. At least, that's what she told herself, that's what she _believed_ when she had gained dominance in Equestria. It had been a fountain of knowledge for her, filled with magic and science humans couldn't dream of. Just like the magic she had stolen. Of course it was like the magic she had stolen. That magic was mere discarded scraps of the true power to be had in Equestria. That had scared her. It was a familiar feeling, the feeling of helplessness. Like once again, she was the weakling among the self-important teenagers that would love nothing more than to beat her to submission.

So she hid. Sunset Shimmer had come after her through the same path she had taken. Her biggest mistake, as it gave her the opportunity to ambush her. Sunset's knowledge had surprised her. So much magic knowledge, pegasus flight magic, earth pony magic, dark magic. There was so much history, so many experiences, so much… _friendship_.

It was powerful. Stronger than her. Stronger than the Princess Celestia she had caught glimpses of. She wanted to understand it. But first, she had to know her opponents in this world. Anything that could get in her way. But how?

Of course, she could assimilate knowledge! The libraries, newspapers, even the weakest of ponies. As long as she was discreet, nothing could stand in her path. At least, that's what she had thought.

And she was right.

It had been simple fare after she had assimilated the magic schools she had discovered. The knowledge in Canterlot had been amazing. Time spells, dark magic, spatial manipulation… Powerful magic the Princesses thought safe, for no pony could possibly learn even one within a lifetime.

But she was no pony. Immediately, she explored Equestria's history from the dawn of time to modern day. She saw it all. So much _knowledge_ , so much _power_. She saw Nightmare Moon's power and learned it. She saw Discord's manipulation of chaos and learned it. She saw King Sombra's darkness and learned it. The studies of Starswirl, the fires of friendship, and so much history forgotten in modern day Equestria.

It was checkmate for Equestria. The princesses? Together the stood, but divided they fell. The Elements of Harmony? Ambushed them before they were aware. Discord? Assimilated Tirek and learned to use his magic. Queen Chrysalis? Didn't have power at the time. Bit by bit, Equestria was given to her, until she _was_ Equestria. She was _everything_. And there was no room for Harmony to plant its roots, no room for its fruits to fall. So it faded.

She was the only thing left, floating in a void of eternity and chaos. She should be happy. She should be proud. She was the strongest, she should be elated. There was nothing to dominate her, nothing to hate her. She was everything. She was the ultimate being, the ultimate existence.

At least, that's what she had been told by her past self.

So why did she feel so helpless? Why does she feel like she's failed? It's ridiculous. It's _weak_. She was a goddess! She was _the_ goddess! The ultimate life form! The one who _understood_. She knew all that passed. She saw all that passed. ...Well, all that Equestria's knowledge of magic could let her see. She was the only one who mattered.

She was the only one.

It didn't matter. She had knowledge of everything. So what else could matter? Nothing. At least, that's what she told herself.

But why did she want knowledge? She recalled what had motivated her desire to learn.

To feel secure. To be useful. To be looked up at. To be able to protect her family. To understand life. Did she accomplish that? She had erased all life. There was only her. So what was her life now, when there was nothing? Nothing to do, nothing to learn... She… didn't know. But it wasn't what she originally wanted. She learned this. There were suggestions to be considered in her unending knowledge of what she could do now, she would see to it later. Was she useful? Looked up at? No, she had been detrimental to all but herself. Those who looked up to her had only done so as they cried in fear before they were nothing but a fragment of her mind.

Her family was dead. Somehow, in her infinite knowledge and understanding, she hadn't really realized that they were all gone. She had destroyed them on a whim, devouring what was once her world. Their existence was nothing more than wisps in her infinite knowledge.

She could bring them back. She could recreate them exactly as they were. It was simple for a being such as her. A little bit of alterations to sustain them in this environment and she could have her family back. At least, that's what she told herself. She focused her power. All the history and memories of her family came to focus, and in a blink of an eye, they were back. She grinned.

They screamed.

With a spark, her family disappeared. Maybe she hadn't thought that through. She recreated her city. She recreated her body. Twilight Sparkle's body, not Midnight Sparkle. She was neither. She knew this. She had learned this. She often ignored this. Once again, her family appeared to her.

And then there was bliss. She lived with her family as if nothing was wrong. As if they didn't question why she was acting strangely. As if she wasn't creating everything that suddenly needed to come up in their lives. As if they weren't slowly crumbling away. As if she could live this fake existence. She knew she couldn't lie to herself. She had learned this. But she would make the best of this imaginary world as she could.

They eventually faded completely. But why? She was all-powerful, how could her constructs waste away? It wasn't possible. She knew everything.

At least, that's what she told herself.

What was different about her world? It was created exactly as she knew it. She recreated everything that mattered. Everything that could have mattered. There was no detail she missed. Everything she had taken, she had put in to rebuild.

Everything but Harmony. But there was no harmony left. It had drowned in her thirst for knowledge, and chaos had unraveled - nearly to its purest form. A form where nothing could be sustained. Where anything and everything would be consumed into the mass of energy that was chaos.

That was the difference.

So her family was gone. What did she have now but her knowledge? She should be amazed at her knowledge. She heard and saw infinity. She should be awed in her knowledge of forever, and yet, she could only reminisce of a lonely girl at Crystal Prep.

Her guise of Twilight Sparkle had crumbled, and she was nothing more than a swirling mass of energy. If there was one positive to that, it was that she could not cry.

Perhaps she could make peace with this. She had everything she wanted. All the knowledge that was, could be, and never will be. She could eternally contemplate her knowledge and understanding. At least, that's what she told herself.

She had seen it. The greatest magic Equestria had to offer. Wielded by none other than her own Equestrian counterpart: friendship.

Harmony was friendship.

Friendship was magic.

Magic was knowledge.

She was the biggest fool in existence.

There was no existence left, only her.

So then, had she learned nothing in her conquests?

No, she knew everything. She knew everything that had been known about friendship and harmony. She was the greatest mind to ever live! It was foolish to think otherwise. If she was a fool, then all that she learned from were nothing more than primal beasts!

But what she hadn't known then was that learning could only take her so far. She had learned that from Princess Twilight. Not that there could be anything else, or even learning, now in this endless void. There was nothing.

But perhaps she could live with this. Eternally contemplating knowledge. At least, that's what she told herself.

But she was fading too. She learned that. Slowly, the chaos consumed her, until she would be nothing more than… nothing. Nothing but the pure emptiness of the turmoil of chaos.

 _I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream_

What a fitting name for her situation. She screwed up. She learned that now.

So she cried in her head. Pretending she was still Twilight Sparkle, being beaten and hated by the Crystal Prep bullies. Pretending she could one day fight back against the suffocating hatred, their beatings that clawed at her very existence. That no matter how hard it was, she could always have her family supporting her, and that she was not alone. Pretending she could still lie to herself. Pretending she could still be fascinated by learning.

She was learning now. She hadn't thought it possible, but she was learning. It was possibly the last thing she would learn - the true meaning of fear.

* * *

I wrote this in school. Hope it doesn't suck too much!

By the way, check out my PMV of Crush 40's Open Your Heart! (Dat song from Sonic Adventure). My YouTube name is SacredYinZekrom.


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